Joyce DeWitt didn’t use the excuse that she was out on a grunion run on Saturday when she got picked up by cops.  According to TMZ, Joyce DeWitt  (Janet from Three’s Company) got popped by the El Segundo police for DUI on Saturday.

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See, celebrities are just like us.  They have stupid friends that get too drunk and have to carry them out of the club too.

John Mayer was leaving the club My House with his drunk buddy Rob Dyrdek on Saturday night.  But apparently it wasn’t just a drunken stupor to be slept off on some random front yard couch.  According to John Mayer’s Twitter account, they took Dyrdek to Cedar Sinai Hospital.

In triage at Cedars with @robdyrdek. When the contents of his stomach hit that silicon bag and we all saw it, we just broke into appluse.

Huh…and Jennifer Aniston couldn’t make this work out?  Go figure!

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WRECKage celebrities, hollywood clubs, John Mayer, my house, reality television, rob dyrdek

See, celebrities are just normal people like we are.  Emmy Rossum shows that just because you can sing and act doesn’t mean you can parallel park.  Clearly, since Rossum has parked about a foot away from the curb and another foot or two into the red zone, she has also shown that people who are in front of the camera should not be behind the camera.  (Her car is equipped with backup cameras that show exactly where you are and how far from the curb you are.

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WRECKage Bad Celebrity Driving, Celebrity Cars, Emmy Rossum

By now you’ve no doubt heard about that 9 year old boy who got that book deal with Harper Collins.  It’s all the wittisisms that a 9 year old boy can dish out on how to pick up girls.  I’m not sure which one of his parents has something over one of the execs at the publisher or may have found an Ashley Madison partner that works over there, but something is definitely going on with that deal.  And now, to rub salt in the wounds of all you unpublished screenwriters….Twentieth Century Fox just optioned the rights to turn the books (yes, there’s going to be 4 of them) into a movie.

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WRECKage 9 Year Old Writer, Alec Green, Ashley Madison, Harper Collins, How to Talk to Girls, Twentieth Century Fox

I know you’re asking yourself if I’ve completely lost my mind, but hang in there with me for a minute.  American Greetings is “updating” some of our favorite characters from our youth like: Care Bears (with “less belly fat” and have longer eyelashes – who wants an anorexic teddy bear?) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (will be more muscular and less agitated).  And, as you can see above, Strawberry Shortcake.  The new and improved Strawberry Shortcake is less pudgy, due to a “fruit forward diet” (those are the words from American Greetings, not me).  Oh, and she’s given up her sweet calico kitty for a cell phone.  A friggin’ cell phone?  Why not have her give up the kitty for an iPhone or Blackberry.  The only thing missing on her is a C-cup.

Well, at least if PETA decides to give Ms. Shortcake a shot at being their newest spokesperson, they probably won’t have to worry much about any scandals.

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WRECKage American Greetings, Care Bears, PETA, Strawberry Shortcake, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

John Mayer has a problem with “untalented people” enjoying the feeling of playing the “axe” with Guitar Hero.  He goes on to clarify his remarks, a bit, by saying that Guitar Hero brings the guitar playing experience to the masses without them really learning how to play.  And playing a real guitar is far more satisfying.   Right, I get it, but how many people think that Guitar Hero is like playing a real guitar.  Lighten up you pretentious bastard.  Here, watch this episode of South Park and lighten up.

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WRECKage Guitar Hero, Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer, Rolling Stone, South Park

Natalie Portman was out walking in the West Village with her dog and boyfriend Devendra Banhart when she got the bird’s eye fire hydrant view of the doggy’s privates.  Oops!

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WRECKage Devendra Banhart, Natalie Portman, West Village

Vanity Fair issued a press announcement, this morning, that in support of the Writer’s and their ongoing strike, they have decided to cancel their annual party.

After much consideration, and in support of the writers and everyone else affected by this strike, we have decided that this is not the appropriate year to hold our annual Oscar party. We want to congratulate all of this year’s nominees and we look forward to hosting our 15th Oscar party next year.

Oh no….what are the poor celebs going to do now? I guess George Clooney will have to pony up for a keg or two and some of those little wrapped weiners and have everyone over after the show.

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A few months ago there was the Filipino prisoners performing Michael Jackson’s Thriller. This time there’s a group performing on the London Tube, with regular/unsuspecting passengers as the audience.

I laughed my ass off. Mostly because the uptight Brit’s show almost no reaction to the dancers.

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