Celebuwreck

Dear Lindsay,

I know times are rough for you right now.  I mean, it’s hard to keep up the appearance that you have money by going shopping and buying a Rolex that you can’t afford, sunglasses, etc.  So it stands to reason that you would want to be seen around town driving only the best cars like a Maserati and a Phantom and not something like a Kia Rio.

But you’ve also told us that you don’t want to do porn and you don’t want anything to do with porn.

So here’s my question to you?  Why did you “borrow” the Maserati, belonging to Dennis DeSantis (a big porn producer)?  You know him…you know what he does…are you really that desperate for an image?  I mean, your current image with most people is that you are a drug and booze addled has-been that has turned to cooch licking for some extra attention.

That brings us to Thursday night’s escapade.  Nice Phantom you drove up in.  Who is the owner of that one?  Oh, why it belongs to Jay Grdina…the soon to be ex-husband of Jenna Jameson also known as Justin Sterling.  Jay…errr Justin has been involved in the porn industry for years.  You may have heard of a couple of little companies called Vivid and Playboy?  So why did you rent Jay’s Phantom?   You can rent one from Beverly Hills Rent a Car, a company not owned by someone in the porn industry.

I think it’s looking more and more like your level of desperation has finally hit a point where you might actually be considering those porn movie offers that have been bounced around for a bit.  If that’s the case, no one would fault you.  In fact, that might be the best way for you to go back to the peen.  You could blame it on the porn and soon everyone would forget that you are the poor man’s version of Anne Heche.  At least after she broke up with Ellen, she concocted a story about being an etherial being known as Celestia.  At this point, you’ve waited a little too long to pull that off successfully.  I think you should go for it, the porno thing, and call yourself something like Marilyn Moan.  See, you can even work in your love for Marilyn Monroe in there.

Best Wishes,

Celebuwreck

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WRECKage Celebrity, Celebrity Gossip, Celebrity News, Dennis DeSantis, Hollywood, Jay Grdina, Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Lohan Porn, Maserati, Phantom, reality