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Now These are Some Resolutions

January 28th, 2009 · 1 Comment

Ted Nugent

Hunter/Rocker Ted Nugent, bucking to become the next Charleton Heston for the NRA graced us with his list of resolutions for 2009.

For this new year, I think I will stick with my proven modus operandi of excellence — only bigger and better.

Upgrade: It’s good for you. Pursuant, I will:

* Work harder and smarter, maximize and prioritize to all new heights.

* Eat even smarter, though my basic diet is exceptional.

* Exercise a little more.

* Give even more of my time to quality charities.

* Increase my “we the people” activism to turn up the heat on politicians and bureaucrats across the land, demanding logic and accountability from corrupt government goons.

* Continue to give away many National Rifle Association memberships to the deserving.

* Teach and recruit more people into the world of shooting sports and our glorious outdoor hunting, fishing and trapping conservation lifestyle.

* Give away many guns and much ammo to loving family and friends.

* Buy another machine gun and pallets of ammo for myself, and shoot till I can’t stand it anymore.

* Plant more trees.

* Encourage everyone to be more conservative and conscientious in their consumption to reduce the gluttonous waste exhibited by so many Americans.

* Raise as much hell as I can to expose the dangerous, counterproductive lies of the global-warming fraud.

* Eat more wild game.

* Hug and kiss Mrs. Nugent more, if that’s possible — and bring her flowers more often.

* Shop locally and patronize more neighborhood small businesses.

* Intensify efforts to get friends to quit smoking and eating dangerously.

* Jam louder and more ferociously on my guitars as a musical prayer to create the ultimate soundtrack for the U.S. military heroes to finally wrap up this war on terror, which they are ready, willing and able to do if only the spineless, dysfunctional bureaucrats would just unleash them to do so.

I hereby resolve that overall, my gifted life in 2009 will be more intense and gratifying than ever before.