Celebuwreck

It seems like free-boobin’ has become the norm for Lindsay Lohan. Everywhere she goes I see her breasts fling flangin’ all around. I know she’s young, so those hooters of hers are still upright and perky, but keep it up and they’ll be bangin’ off her knees in a few short years.

MAMA FIRECROTCH: Do you really think you should be wearing that without a bra?

LILO: Sure!

MAMA FIRECROTCH: Isn’t it kind of chilly outside today, you’re going to poke someone’s eye out?

LILO: It’s LA…I’ll be fine. What’s your problem? How else am I going to pick up a guy, and let everyone know I’m still relevant? It’s not like I’m still at “the Lodge” where I’ve got my pick of the guys and the paps are hanging out looking for me.

MAMA FIRECROTCH: True, but….

LILO: Look, I’ve been doing all those nude photoshoots to get more exposure…hahahahahaa I just made a double a blundera. What was I going to say? I forgot.

MAMA FIRECROTCH: Ummmmm….Schnappsy honey…that’s a double entendre

LILO: Whatever! They won’t let me walk around naked. So what else am I supposed to do to get noticed?

MAMA FIRECROTCH: That’s not true my little schnappsy. Your lawyer calls you, those nice people at the credit card companies are calling you everyday…and what about those nice photographers? They return your calls, to find out where you’re going to be.

LILO: Stop trying to make me feel better. You’ve got a show and even Ali’s part of it. I’ve got nothing going on.

MAMA FIRECROTCH: Oh, honey. Don’t worry. The studios will be calling again. Maybe you’ll get a part on a television show…Paris just got a part on “My Name is Earl”…and you’re much prettier and a better actor than she is, plus your boobs are bigger.

LILI: Stop it! You’re just depressing me. I’ve got to go out now so that people know I’m still available.

Wanna Share This Story?

WRECKage Celebrity Rehab, Dina Lohan, Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Nude Photos, Paris Hilton