Look: I know what Demi Moore usually looks like, see picture on the right, and she’s really, really good-looking. So how is it possible that Demi’s been spotted out and about looking (facially, anyways) like a moderately bloated, blotchy, droopy eyed, jowlly, suburban housefrau who’s cranky because she just found out the grocery store ran out of her kid’s favorite cereal? (Or, in other words, a REAL 45 year old woman.) There is no way someone spends $200K on plastic surgery and looks like that. The picture on the right was taken 2 days later! “Dude, what happened to her face?” The only way I can fathom that she is the one in the “before and after” pictures and be so dramatically different in appearance, is that she goes to a magical facialist who performs some kind of secret sacrificial ritual. Which does, by the way, happen a lot in the weeks leading up to the Oscars. (These visits to her facialist magician will make her plastic surgery budget look like nothing, by the end of the year.) But, because she didn’t follow Celebrity 101 and cover up, she will be constantly greeted by the image of herself appearing with an uncharacteristically bloaty and blotchy face, looking like the rest of us do after a night of beer and wings. I’m suddenly feeling a lot better about those not so flattering party pictures of me.
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